Two related events in the news drew my attention today. The first was the closing of the legendary Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey circus. After 146 years of entertaining millions of people, the clowns will do their last pratfall, the hire wire artists their last death-defying act and the elephants will trumpet for the final time under the big top.
Do not fear, however. Ringling brothers may be closing, but there’s a new show in town that may be just as entertaining and most certainly death defying. It’s called The Mumbling Brothers, Ivanka and Jared and they will be playing almost exclusively at the White House on Pennsylvania avenue in Washington DC. The Elephants will be there, too, in the form of the Republican party only this time they will be TRUMPeting a different song.
The entertainment and suspense has started already. The President-elect says he is recalling every single U.S. ambassador. They are all to come home and be reviewed by Mr. Trump. Many I would suppose, will fly directly to Canada and stay there. Why come home only to be fired and replaced by the unemployed Ringling brothers performing seals.
This move by the Chief Executive tweeter leaves the U.S. and the world in the same balancing situation as the high wire acts that used to fascinate crowds in the circus. When Trump feels the call of nature in the night and tweets some absurd notion that occurred to him while, well you know — scores of nations might ask, “What does he mean by that?”
Normally the Ambassadors would call and say, “Worry not, everything is fine, what the President meant to say is blah, blah, blah.” You see ambassadors are there so countries have a contact with the U.S. in case of questions or differences. Ambassadors are very important people. It is interesting that while Ambassadors work for the State Department that they are being recalled by the President. I guess Rex Tillerson just had the rug pulled out from under him.
I imagine Trump will want to replace most of the ambassadors with people he feels reflect his way of thinking so that when he sends that 3 AM tweet and the President of Nowhere Island calls to inquire about it, the Ambassador will be able to say, “Oh no, I’m sorry, he isn’t really going to nuke you, that was just locker room talk. I’m sure you recognize that the U.S. is your friend. But as long as we have you on the phone you know that prime piece of oceanfront you have on the south end of your island? Well, the President would like to honor our two nation’s friendship by building a Trump hotel there. Of
course, there would be no taxes on any income I’m sure you understand that. Shall I tell him that you agreed? Good, we’ll send out the order to recall the B-52s before they get there. Thank you for your cooperation….Oh…one more thing. If one of those B-52s doesn’t get the message, it’s nothing personal and we’ll still build the hotel as soon as the radiation diminishes.
Only a few more days until inauguration. Trump will be president. I understand he will be the first President to give an inaugural address via Twitter. 140 characters is probably about all he can coherently deliver, so why not. My Fellow Americans is 18 characters. 122 more and his speech is over. God knows what he’ll say, but you can bet it will generate several score news stories and most reporters will have carpal tunnel syndrome by weeks end. I guess that’s the way he’ll get rid of the press. He’ll wear us down with work. Reminds me of that old line, “Never get into an argument with an idiot. He’ll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.”
And, from where I sit, that’s the truth!